There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He kissed a someone with a penis
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
