i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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