He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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