coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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