Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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