Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
