I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
