Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
