I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize