Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
