it wasn't lemon gatorade
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
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the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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