Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
