Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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