He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She told me I should be a condom model.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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