his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
