so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize