Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
