Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize