this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
