No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
