Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
