hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
