Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
