So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
