Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I got her a Nickelback box set.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
