Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
