the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
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Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
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You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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