covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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