Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
