your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize