he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
