My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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