You just made me feel so damn special
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
