I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
