Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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