apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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