If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
