he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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