I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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