she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
