What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize