No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
now i know why i became what i already was.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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