I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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