there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
