i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize