When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i out mim tonsoeep
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
