that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
