this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
