Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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