I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
