And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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