I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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