I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
