i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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