i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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