I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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