hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
