i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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