You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
