I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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