The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
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And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My vagina is officially offended.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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