I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize