A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
sarcasm needs its own font
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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