How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
