any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
